Band Geeks
by Daisaigai Katja
Summary: A fic like no other. Watch as a band is created and brought together for selfish purposes. Listen to the dramatic background music is played during this coming of age saga. Summary inside.


I'm starting a new fic!

Obviously.

As one could guess from the title, this fic will contain the words, BAND, GEEKS, MUSIC, SQUEAK, BLAST, WHOO-HOO, (CENSORED), TRUMPET, DYING, COWS, CLAIRNETS, JOHNNY, FLUTES, BROKEN, CONDUCTOR, WANDS, TRIP, WIND, HORRORS, KAGE, BRACES, DIABOLICAL, SUPERINTENDENT, MUSICAL, NOTATION, ALLEGRO, OBOE, PRESTO, LOW BRASS, LARGO, ARG, PSYCHOPATHIC, BEINGS, JINGLE, BELLS, KATJA, FIRE, READING, CLASS, ONE, ANGRY, CONDUCTOR, SCARY, STORIES, TRIUMPH, VALOR, THE, OMPH, TINY, TIM, BITE, DRUMSTICKS, INABILITY, TO, COUNT, PERCUSSION SECTION, ANGRY, MOB, FIRST, CHAIR, WHEEZY, SAXAPHONES, SOLOIST.

As one can also see, this is not a fic for the musical un-inclined or the faint of heart.

So, from the same mad authoress who brought you "The Exploits Of A Possessed Stapler And Other Tales," comes a fanfiction like no other. One that exposes politics, and show how easy it is for one to gain complete control. One that shows that money is the root of all evil. One that demonstrates how far students will go to defeat oppression. One that illustrates the Propaganda technique of Repetition.

Let us begin.

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A school board meeting was being held at Domino High School, before the school year officially began.

"Our children's scores on the DSSAs are dangerously low!!!" said one of the directors. "If they score any lower, than our government funding money may be cut!!!!"

The air within the meeting room hissed with the parents' whispered comments to each other. The football players' parents were especially angry. Less funding meant no more brand-new, customized leather jackets (which had somehow topped the priority list of the school's budget) for their sons.

"This chart shows that our students' average math and reading scores on these standardized tests have been sinking over the past 5 years," said the same director, pointing to a Excel chart. "This will not be tolerated. We may have to revert to block-scheduling for math and reading-"

"And cut time from other classes, such as Art and Science!?" cried an angry mother. "No! Those tests are simply a means for gullible schools to obtain money from a government _who won't give them a cent_, by bullying those poor students into taking ridiculous tests by threatening them with the future of the schools!!!"

Silence, albeit a few coughs.

"Well," coughed the director. "We have done a study, and come up with a theory that-"

"That what?" demanded the righteously angry mother.

"Music apparently enhances the brain's ability to comprehend, which is the basis of both math and reading. We have decided to put music to use, and form a high school band."

Silence once more.

The director cleared his throat. "We have selected certain students to participate in this new extracurricular activity. Should they refuse, they will be asked to withdraw from all other additional school clubs. This would give them plenty of time to take part in band."

"WHAT?!?!?!?" several people broke out. "This isn't a dictatorship!!! You can't do that!!"

"Actually, we _can_," said a smooth voice, the kind that tends to annoy the heck out of lessers. The superintendent rose from his high-backed leather seat and faced the crowd.

"The new 'Enabling Act' passed by the government allows me-I mean, _our_ school board- to do whatever we see fit." He drew a packet of paper from the pocket of his jacket. "_We_ are acting as we see fit. We are only concerned about your children's futures."

"Mr. Fitler!!" A man stood up. "As superintendent of this district, you should know such an Act is illegal. In 1938, the Germans-"

"Is this Germany?" interrupted Mr. Fitler.

"No, but-"

"Is this 1938?"

"NO, but-"

"Then I rest my case," Mr. Fitler said coolly. The man tried to speak again, but was silenced by a much taller man dressed in black, and escorted out of the room.

"Anyone else have objections? ...Then let us rise into a new era, one with music flowing through the minds of our beloved students. An era where our school shall rise in glory and in wealth, providing our children with the tools they need to shape their own future." Fitler raised his hands, and was moving them to add emphasis to his speech.

The crowd had calmed down, and was now listening intently to Fitler's words.

"As superintendent of this district, I will ensure that every pupil will receive an equal education, with modifications made to fit their needs."

The crowd was smiling and nodding their heads now, pleased with the words they heard, but not listening for possible synonyms of these promises.

Fitler's blue eyes were blazing with proud emotion as he continued to talk loudly at the excited crowd.

"For too long, our school has been lacking in its potential to fulfill the true power of knowledge. Our children will no longer be as deprived as they have been in past years. Every measure will be taken to allow students to perform educational duties as well as possible. NO CHILD SHALL BE LEFT BEHIND!!!!" Fitler bellowed, grinning madly at his audience.

The crowd had been whipped into a frenzy, and were now laughing, cheering and yelling animatedly. "LET OUR CHILDREN EXERCISE THEIR TRUE POTENTIAL!!!"

Fitler laughed. This was wonderful. His public speaking skills had turned the horde of parents from angry and uncooperative, to ecstatic and willing to bend to his force.

However, one more item of extreme importance needed to be attended to. He called over the thrilled mass, "There is one thing holding our district back!!!! Your signatures! The county requires that I have parents' permission to have their students attend band classes! On your way out, sign the paper located by the exits! Your consent is essential! With it, we will open the doors of intellect to EVERY ADOLESANT THAT HAS BEEN SELECTED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE DOMINO MEMORIAL HIGH SCHOOL BAND!!!!"

As the accumulation of parents filed out the door, each searched for their child's name on the band roster sheet posted by the exit doors. They hastily signed their names, sealing that teenager's fate.

-o-o-o-

After the meeting, Mr. Fitler sat contentedly in his office, remembering the government conference he had recently attended.

-o-o-o-

"Mr. Fitler," The county governor arose from his chair and glared at whom he was speaking to. "Your school district scores on the DSSA Standardized Tests have been falling over the past five years. If this continue, we will be forced to cut government funds from the school." 

Mr. Fitler raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think that will fix the problem? Cutting funds will result in less money dedicated to providing textbooks and materials for the students. That will only further hamper the students' abilities."

"Well then, Fitler, do you have a suggestion to fix the problem?" growled the county governor.

Filter steeped his fingers and smiled an ominous snake smile at the governor. "Why yes, I do, Governor." 

He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a sheaf of paper. "This study shows that students who participate in musical activities generally score higher on the DSSAs. I suggest the county lends us enough money to rent instruments and hire a conductor so that the students may learn to play. Once the students are good enough, we shall create a marching band. This will draw more fans to our football games, providing more money from tickets bought." 

"Why hasn't your district had a marching band before?" asked the governor coldly. "We gave you a grant for one a few years ago." 

Fitler coughed, and for the first time, looked slightly uncomfortable. "Those funds had to go to...er...the first grade, who needed several new workbooks for their new curriculum, designed to prepare them for the DSSAs." 

The governor frowned. "Well...I suppose the government could lend you another grant-" 

"Excellent," Fitler said briskly, standing up. "I shall be in touch to tomorrow to negotiate the amount of funds allowed." He strode to the doors and exited. 

A member of the council took of her glasses and rubbed her eyes. "You shouldn't have let him go, Governor," she said in a tired voice. "Aku Fitler has been suspected of stealing funds from his school in the past..." 

The governor sighed. "I know that. But all charges against him have been dropped as soon as the jury was near a verdict. Bribery was suspected."

The woman looked around at her peers.

"Not another year like the last one..."

-o-o-o-

Once the governor had allowed Fitler a grant for the formation of a band, he immediately began to save a bit of the money into his own bank account. Just a minute crumb, so that no one would suspect him of stealing.

Fitler had been typing on his brand-new-state-of-the-art-DO-NOT-LOOK-AT-ANY-FILES-ON-MY-COMPUTER-LEST-YE-BE-FIRED computer for a long time. Staff members who tried to find out what he was up to were, of course, fired. Fitler always found a reason.

Soon, he had a file closely resembling a government bill. With a flourish, Fitler printed the document and signed a name at the bottom, not necessarily his own. He called the secretaries and the school nurse into the staff room to make the important announcement.

"I have in my hands a law of the county, faxed to me by the governor himself."

"What does it say?" questioned the secretaries Ms Evans, Ms. Jackson, and Ms. Wiler warily.

Mr. Fitler smoothed out a rumple in his suit and raised an eyebrow at the secretaries. "It has been titled 'The Enabling Act', which gives me the power to do as I see fit. You see, our students' scores on standardized tests, namely the DSSAs, have been sinking steadily. This document gives me the authority to execute whatever measures necessary to bring the scores up once more-"

Dr. Faust, the school nurse, cut in angrily. "Such an Act is illegal. It has been stated in the Constitution of both this country and my own."

"Well, that's why we have amendments, Dr. Faust," Fitler said calmly.

Faust drew himself up to full height and glared at Fitler. "The only person in history who has passed such an Act was a hypocritical, massacring fiend. Surely you do not wish to be tarred with the same filthy brush."

"I can assure you my regime will be much more successful than that of Hitler's. Perhaps you are implying that I plan to segregate students, place them in camps, and make them work for my own selfish purposes? If that is what you are suggesting, than maybe you be happier back in _Dutch Land_." Fitler smirked, knowing he had infuriated Faust.

Faust said nothing, but instead concentrated on finding a good time to stop the tape recorder in his pocket, without having Fitler hearing the click of the stop button.

"Well then, being as Faust is too slow to come up with another point to argue about, I hereby end this meeting. Everything you heard here is confidential. However, you will be responsible for telling the other teachers about what has happened here. Speaking of this gathering to anyone else but other personnel will result in loss of employment. Is that clear?"

Faust and the secretaries nodded mutely.

"Good. School begins tomorrow, so I suggest you finish preparing for the students. We are going to have some new pupils tomorrow, also. There are _no_ mistakes on the class rosters. Good day to you all." And with that, Fitler exited.

Faust stopped the tape recorder at the same moment as the door clicked. The secretaries jumped slightly upon hearing the noise.

"Did you tape everything this time?" Ms. Jackson asked urgently.

"_Ja_. It is all here." Faust pulled the tape recorder out of his pocket. "We can't afford to miss anything."

"I taped it, too," Ms. Wiler said proudly. "This can be our back-up."

"Good. Our union will not be silenced again," Faust said, nodding. "I have to get back to my office and clean the old skeletons out of my closet."

The secretaries smiled at their friend. "If you need anything, Faust, give us a holler. We'll be in the office," Ms. Evans said as they walked out the door and went their separate ways.

-o-o-o-

Fitler laughed in his thoughts as he walked back to his office. Nothing could stop him now. First, he would gain control over every aspect of every student's life, namely the band students. Then it would be easy to make them do whatever he desired. If they refused, he could terminate their permanent records and destroy their educational future. This was Act 1 of the Enabling Act. **"All school rules will now be created and executed by the superintendent, and the superintendent only. Students caught breaking any rules shall be expelled. No appeals will occur, nor will any charges be pressed." **

Parents would be told that the student had broken a severe school rule, and were to be expelled. No questions asked.

Fitler had spent months carefully planning out which students were most likely to rebel against his new rules. The smartest and the ones who showed signs of leadership, endurance, and courage were now registered band students. They would be assigned instruments, raging from keyboard to trumpet to clarinet. The band conductor, who would not hesitate to call an Act 1, would carefully monitor them to look for any signs of rebellion. As if they would have time to prepare such an uprising, if they did happen to catch on. If they did realize what was going on, Fitler always had plans to subdue them. He was a rather paranoid man, even if his snake-like complexion didn't show it.

Mr. Fitler had done what had previously had been politically impossible. Not since Hitler and the Nazi party had come into power had there been such a dictatorship.

All dangerous enemies of Fitler had been silenced.

Or so he thought.

It would not be until much later that Mr. Fitler would realize he had made the huge mistake of assuming that creating a band would subdue any upheaval that would come his way.

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Well now, that was interesting, wasn't it? Please review. I gratefully accept constructive criticism and such. Flames don't bother me. Ideas and experiences greatly appreciated, and will be accepted in most cases. I'm pleased at how this chapter came out, and believe this fic has potential. It's going to take a LOT of work to make things fit, so be patient. Updates will be rather slow. I apologize for any inconveniences.

This fic is going to have humor, adventure, angst, and many other such emotions. This IS a band fic, after all.

Please review.

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